A recent survey states the average age for losing virginity is 17. Is that so or are teenagers getting sexually active even earlier? Debarati S Sen explores ...
Studies have revealed that children, these days, are losing their virginity at a very young age. Experts say that with the average age of puberty going down to 9-10 years for girls and 10-11 years for boys, the average age for losing virginity too is going down. And the deadly paring with this is — awareness about sex is more these days and information (not always from the right sources) is freely available. Television, movies and most prominently the Internet is loaded with extremely easily accessible information and graphic details. This, most of the time, helps to entice the youngsters to experiment, who already have hormones raging through them.
Anju Uppal, principal of an international high school says, "I have been dealing with children for a long time and I do believe that children these days are losing their virginity very early. They get attracted to each other and are tempted to take it all further."
Curiosity killed the cat
Psychiatrist Dr Anjali Chhabria says, "It's human nature to be curious. A teenager would definitely want to experiment and experience the information he/she has heard about sex. For certain kids who are more shy, withdrawn and introverts, social networking sites are best for communication. Kids who may be new to exploring sexuality or may have a high drive, do indulge in cyber sex or phone sex at times." Anju Uppal adds, "They are much more aware of things these days and they are very keen to experiment."
Lack of attention from parents
With most parents working, kids are without proper supervision (a maid would not even understand the nuances of phone or cyber sex) and free to do as they like. "Sometimes the attention from the parents is not enough, kids may indulge in these things just to attract negative attention from parents," says Dr Chhabria.
Family history
Children who are from broken families are prone to indulge in flings with multiple partners without emotional attachments. Seema Hingorrany, clinical psychologist adds, "When there is a marital discord between parents the children may try to cling to their relationships and are ready to lose their virginity to hold on to it."
Sex isn't taboo anymore
Sex in our society is also not such a taboo as it used to be earlier and virginity is not such a big deal. Psychotherapist Shilpa Raheja agrees, "Virginity has lost its sacred value. 'Saving your virginity for marriage' is something that is even laughed at these days by some people." This attitude, though not very common is accepted.
Influence of alcohol
Is influence of alcohol or substance abuse one of the reasons that lead to lowering the age of sexual activity among children? Dr Chhabria says, "It may not be one of the reasons but it may stimulate the sexual urge further for them to indulge in sex. Also substance and alcohol tend to reduce the anxiety towards sex and alter consciousness which definitely plays a major role in letting the person freely perform sex."
Peer-group pressure
To have a boyfriend or girlfriend is like a status symbol say experts. "So much of 'hanging around' at pubs, cafes and discos are happening. You need a girl in your arms when you walk in to a party," says Shilpa. There are children who have their reasons for absistence but sometimes they are counteracted upon in a very strong way by the friends and the peer group. "Friends often provide the means when a parent refuses," says Anju.
Proper education needed
Yes we all know sex education is provided in schools. Period. But with rampant teenage pregnancies it obviously is not enough. Shilpa says, "Talking openly about sex is still not common. Parents usually want some other organisation to do the sex-talk with their kids."
Effects on children
Seema says, "In the last five years I have seen the number rise rapidly. Around 50-75 per cent young girls and guys lose their virginity much before they are anywhere near adulthood. And this affects them mentally. When kids are in Std 5, they have crushes and before they are in college most lose their virginity. When such a relationship does not work out depression hits them. There are anxiety disorders, eating disorders and feelings of guilt that may ruin their childhood."
Expert advice for parents
A good relationship between parents may be important where both have similar parenting styles. Parents need to be role models and need to make their child see how important is love, affection, care and commitment in a relationship. They need to explain that sex is something precious to be shared with the person you love and not just an act of physical satisfaction.The emotional problems that come up with losing virginity at an early age and that come along with multiple partners needs to be explained to your child with a lot of patience. Children also need to understand that their parents are the one who they need to confide into. Also all information from friends and elsewhere needs to be confirmed as it may not always be true. Children also need to judge better for themselves what is right and wrong and what will be good for them in the future.
Advice for teenagers
-The only way you can guarantee that you won't catch a sexually transmitted disease and won't get pregnant is abstinence.
- No one can force you into it. 'If you loved me you'd do it', can be countered with a 'If you really loved me you would wait'.
- Saying a no to a person even if it is someone you have said a yes to earlier, is perfectly okay.
- Always keep in mind that despite what rumors and gossip may suggest, virgins are a majority in most high schools, not a minority.
- If you want to show someone how much you care intercourse is not the only way to go about it. Don't let others try to convince you otherwise.
- If you kiss someone passionately does not mean that you have to go on to having sex with them.
2010年9月14日 星期二
Confessions of a Beauty Junkie!
As a kid, I remember going to weddings and seeing the bride suddenly look drastically different than what I'd remember her as - a pale face, multiple shades lighter. On further investigation, I found a glass bottle full of a thick paste which, when applied liberally, seemed to have that effect.
My mother, already wary of my unnatural interest in make-up, warned me to keep away from it, telling me it is only something that brides and older women use. And as much as I grew up loving make-up, steered clear of any foundation fetish though I wouldn't think twice about picking startling shades of eyeshadow.
Till about 6 months ago, I was a foundation virgin - and proud of it. It all changed when at a store, an assistant tried to sell me a pot of mousse foundation. Not only did it cover all my flaws - pores, scars, etc., it was light, and didn't even look like I was wearing base!
Now, I do realise you may not agree with me, so I decided to rope in Ritila Anar, head make-up artist at Inglot to tell you what base can do! "There are so many varieties of foundation available - powder, cream, liquid, mousse, and silicone gel. You can pick a consistency that suits your skin type. The purpose of foundation is to even out skin tone and to make the face a clear canvas to apply make-up. Infact, because of the climate change - a base is practically a skin care product now. It provides an extra layer of protection from the UVA and UVB rays."
I also had a little chat with Lisa Whyte, sales and education manager, Clinique , India, who told me, "Indian women think foundation=cream=something that clogs pores. As a result of that, they tend to use a lot of compact powder, which can change colour on oily skin, and make dry skin look dehydrated and cakey. The right shade gives you sheer coverage and doesn't look like make-up; it just looks like great skin!
If I've managed to convince you to venture into the stormy waters, I suggest you head to the nearest fashion store and discover Your Shade, Your Finish, Your Match. Hurry up! You're only a couple of hundreds away from flawless skin!
My mother, already wary of my unnatural interest in make-up, warned me to keep away from it, telling me it is only something that brides and older women use. And as much as I grew up loving make-up, steered clear of any foundation fetish though I wouldn't think twice about picking startling shades of eyeshadow.
Till about 6 months ago, I was a foundation virgin - and proud of it. It all changed when at a store, an assistant tried to sell me a pot of mousse foundation. Not only did it cover all my flaws - pores, scars, etc., it was light, and didn't even look like I was wearing base!
Now, I do realise you may not agree with me, so I decided to rope in Ritila Anar, head make-up artist at Inglot to tell you what base can do! "There are so many varieties of foundation available - powder, cream, liquid, mousse, and silicone gel. You can pick a consistency that suits your skin type. The purpose of foundation is to even out skin tone and to make the face a clear canvas to apply make-up. Infact, because of the climate change - a base is practically a skin care product now. It provides an extra layer of protection from the UVA and UVB rays."
I also had a little chat with Lisa Whyte, sales and education manager, Clinique , India, who told me, "Indian women think foundation=cream=something that clogs pores. As a result of that, they tend to use a lot of compact powder, which can change colour on oily skin, and make dry skin look dehydrated and cakey. The right shade gives you sheer coverage and doesn't look like make-up; it just looks like great skin!
If I've managed to convince you to venture into the stormy waters, I suggest you head to the nearest fashion store and discover Your Shade, Your Finish, Your Match. Hurry up! You're only a couple of hundreds away from flawless skin!
2010年8月25日 星期三
Now, a math formula to find you your perfect lover
Math has solved many a complex equations over the years, and now it can also find you the perfect answer to who might be the best lover for you.
Anthropologist Barnaby Dixson studied what the sexes found attractive in a partner across cultures.
According to news.com.au, Dixson said the same formula for what men favoured in women came up almost every single time- a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7.
Which means, a waist measurement exactly 70 per cent of the hip circumference is the perfect number.
And who are the lucky ones who already have it? Actor Jessica Alba, Marilyn Monroe, Victoria's Secret Angel Alessandra Ambrosio and supermodel Kate Moss.
Anthropologist Barnaby Dixson studied what the sexes found attractive in a partner across cultures.
According to news.com.au, Dixson said the same formula for what men favoured in women came up almost every single time- a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7.
Which means, a waist measurement exactly 70 per cent of the hip circumference is the perfect number.
And who are the lucky ones who already have it? Actor Jessica Alba, Marilyn Monroe, Victoria's Secret Angel Alessandra Ambrosio and supermodel Kate Moss.
2010年8月17日 星期二
Avoid an ugly break-up!
Ending your relationship can be a messy affair, but here’s how you can avoid creating an ugly scene
Not all relationships last a lifetime and often it’s best to end things before they get ugly. So, now you have decided to break up with your girlfriend/boyfriend. But don’t think it’s an easy job. It’s likely that the other person still has feelings for you, so try and ensure that you end things graciously so that a beautiful relationship doesn’t end with an ugly fight.
Don’t break up at a public place:
While you may have gotten used to the idea of breaking up your girlfriend/boyfriend may need sometime to get used to the idea. So ensure that there’s some privacy when you are breaking up. You wouldn’t want to be a part of an ugly scene or fight and be a spectacle for those at the joint.
Don’t get into it at your usual hang out:
Break-ups can be messy, so don’t opt for a place that you are likely to frequent. In case you don’t part of absolutely amicable terms at least people who know you won’t be a witness to any kinds of fight.
Don’t be too casual:
Don’t break up while you are doing some mundane task like picking up groceries or chomping on a huge burger. Give your relationship and your partner some respect and plan how you want to go ahead with it.
Breaking up over sms or email:
While this may work for some, it may prove to be hara-kiri for others. Those who cannot express themselves may find the options of writing an email or a letter very appealing and it’s not a bad option considering it allows you to elaborate your feelings. Also, it’s prefect for those who prefer to avoid confrontation. Breaking up over SMS, however, can be highly insensitive. After all 160 characters can’t be enough to end a relationship. However, breaking up over SMS too has its share of fans and has worked for many people.
Avoid breaking up over networking sites:
Those status message or pictures that you post are seen by so many people. Do you want all of them to be witness to your break-up? Plus if your break up is not an amicable one, do you want them to enjoy a mud slinging match between your and your girlfriend/boyfriend?
The slow and steady way:
The best way to break up often turns out to be the slow and steady way. This is where you make your partner realise that things are not working out between you. Give him/her sometime to get used to the idea, so that when you go for the ‘big’ talk, it doesn’t come as a nig surprise for him/her.
Don’t put all the blame on your partner:
Don’t go hammer and tongs at your girlfriend/boyfriend when you decide to give that big break up speech. Be practical and tell your partner that this is what you think would be best for you.
Don’t make false promises:
Even if your partner gets highly emotional or cries buckets, don’t make false promises like ‘I’ll think about it’ or ‘maybe we can give it another shot’, unless you really mean it. Once you feel that a relationship is going nowhere it’s silly to keep dragging it just because you care for the other person. Understand the difference between friendship and love and act accordingly
Not all relationships last a lifetime and often it’s best to end things before they get ugly. So, now you have decided to break up with your girlfriend/boyfriend. But don’t think it’s an easy job. It’s likely that the other person still has feelings for you, so try and ensure that you end things graciously so that a beautiful relationship doesn’t end with an ugly fight.
Don’t break up at a public place:
While you may have gotten used to the idea of breaking up your girlfriend/boyfriend may need sometime to get used to the idea. So ensure that there’s some privacy when you are breaking up. You wouldn’t want to be a part of an ugly scene or fight and be a spectacle for those at the joint.
Don’t get into it at your usual hang out:
Break-ups can be messy, so don’t opt for a place that you are likely to frequent. In case you don’t part of absolutely amicable terms at least people who know you won’t be a witness to any kinds of fight.
Don’t be too casual:
Don’t break up while you are doing some mundane task like picking up groceries or chomping on a huge burger. Give your relationship and your partner some respect and plan how you want to go ahead with it.
Breaking up over sms or email:
While this may work for some, it may prove to be hara-kiri for others. Those who cannot express themselves may find the options of writing an email or a letter very appealing and it’s not a bad option considering it allows you to elaborate your feelings. Also, it’s prefect for those who prefer to avoid confrontation. Breaking up over SMS, however, can be highly insensitive. After all 160 characters can’t be enough to end a relationship. However, breaking up over SMS too has its share of fans and has worked for many people.
Avoid breaking up over networking sites:
Those status message or pictures that you post are seen by so many people. Do you want all of them to be witness to your break-up? Plus if your break up is not an amicable one, do you want them to enjoy a mud slinging match between your and your girlfriend/boyfriend?
The slow and steady way:
The best way to break up often turns out to be the slow and steady way. This is where you make your partner realise that things are not working out between you. Give him/her sometime to get used to the idea, so that when you go for the ‘big’ talk, it doesn’t come as a nig surprise for him/her.
Don’t put all the blame on your partner:
Don’t go hammer and tongs at your girlfriend/boyfriend when you decide to give that big break up speech. Be practical and tell your partner that this is what you think would be best for you.
Don’t make false promises:
Even if your partner gets highly emotional or cries buckets, don’t make false promises like ‘I’ll think about it’ or ‘maybe we can give it another shot’, unless you really mean it. Once you feel that a relationship is going nowhere it’s silly to keep dragging it just because you care for the other person. Understand the difference between friendship and love and act accordingly
2010年6月25日 星期五
It’s amazing how sometimes we’re overwhelmed by the simple pleasures of life. Like a few words of reassurance, a compliment, a look of the eyes that tells you it’s one of genuine concern, a squeeze of the hand, a kiss, a hug or even a phone call.
It’s a pity that we often overlook them in our daily grind and look for more expensive means to tackle our depression, insecurity, self-doubt, self pity, and the works. And thanks to our myopic vision, the psychologists, marriage counsellors, education counsellors, and whathaveyous are having a field day out there.
Relationships and marriages are the worst sufferers. They are falling apart like nine pins because neither can take the stress at work and obviously they don’t have the patience or tolerance to hear each other out amicably once back home. The war’s given up even before it’s begun. They agree a third party intervention is essential to sort their personal matters out. And sharing confidential information with third parties always come for a price. A rather hefty one at that. But no worries, there’s enough disposable income to waste on the quirks. One’s pain and loss provides vicarious emotional and financial pleasure to another.
“Am in love” is a phrase that has been duly replaced with “Am going steady” “or am in a relationship”. Being in love, feeling the warmth of his/her presence, wallowing in love, blinded by love are all passé and one runs the risk of being branded an emotional fool. It’s all about a “workable relationship” now. Will it or won’t it work. Simple.
Move aside, heart. Step in, head. Don’t dream about those never-ending walks into the sunset or the cosy rain-soaked cuddle. Just do it, sing those romantic songs and dance around a few trees, if you must.
Don’t just plunge in and say “I love you.” Think of the kind of “investments” you need to make and the various “exit plans” you must keep handy before saying “I Do”.
Alas, why didn’t I think of these ever? Haven’t made any investments, nor do I have an exit plan. Just plunged into the deep end and swimming my way through. Is my future doomed? Or am I just being an incurable romantic?
At the risk of all those rotten tomatoes landing in my comment section, I’d still say: People, save that money, take some time off to sit down and look into each other’s eyes, hold that hand, smile, hug and kiss. And, when you are miles away, just call. Priceless ways of working wonders on that mind and heart.
It’s a pity that we often overlook them in our daily grind and look for more expensive means to tackle our depression, insecurity, self-doubt, self pity, and the works. And thanks to our myopic vision, the psychologists, marriage counsellors, education counsellors, and whathaveyous are having a field day out there.
Relationships and marriages are the worst sufferers. They are falling apart like nine pins because neither can take the stress at work and obviously they don’t have the patience or tolerance to hear each other out amicably once back home. The war’s given up even before it’s begun. They agree a third party intervention is essential to sort their personal matters out. And sharing confidential information with third parties always come for a price. A rather hefty one at that. But no worries, there’s enough disposable income to waste on the quirks. One’s pain and loss provides vicarious emotional and financial pleasure to another.
“Am in love” is a phrase that has been duly replaced with “Am going steady” “or am in a relationship”. Being in love, feeling the warmth of his/her presence, wallowing in love, blinded by love are all passé and one runs the risk of being branded an emotional fool. It’s all about a “workable relationship” now. Will it or won’t it work. Simple.
Move aside, heart. Step in, head. Don’t dream about those never-ending walks into the sunset or the cosy rain-soaked cuddle. Just do it, sing those romantic songs and dance around a few trees, if you must.
Don’t just plunge in and say “I love you.” Think of the kind of “investments” you need to make and the various “exit plans” you must keep handy before saying “I Do”.
Alas, why didn’t I think of these ever? Haven’t made any investments, nor do I have an exit plan. Just plunged into the deep end and swimming my way through. Is my future doomed? Or am I just being an incurable romantic?
At the risk of all those rotten tomatoes landing in my comment section, I’d still say: People, save that money, take some time off to sit down and look into each other’s eyes, hold that hand, smile, hug and kiss. And, when you are miles away, just call. Priceless ways of working wonders on that mind and heart.
Hug
A hug is a form of physical intimacy, not necessarily sexual, that usually involves closing or holding the arms around another person or group of persons. The hug is one of the most common human signs of love and affection, along with kissing.Unlike some other forms of physical intimacy, it is practiced publicly and privately without stigma in many countries, religions and cultures, within families, and also across age and gender lines.
Sometimes, hugs are a romantic exchange. Hugs may also be exchanged as a sign of support and comfort. A hug can be a demonstration of affection and emotional warmth, sometimes arising out of joy or happiness at meeting someone.
Brief in most cases, it is used to show many levels of affection. It is not particular to human beings alone, as there are many species of animals that engage in similar exchanges of warmth.
Hugging has been proven to have health benefits. One study has shown that hugs increase levels of oxytocin, and reduce blood pressure.
There are different variations of hugs. Prolonged hugging in a cozy, comfortable position is called cuddling. Spooning is a cuddling position, a kind of hugging when both the hugger and the hugged persons face the same direction, i.e., the front of one person is in contact with the back of the second one. The person whose front is in contact with the other's back is referred to as the "Big Spoon" and the person whose back is in contact with the other's front in referred to as the "Little Spoon".
In May 2009, the New York Times reported that "the hug has become the favorite social greeting when teenagers meet or part these days" in the United States.
Despite hugging being widespread across human culture, several cultures - such as the Himba in Namibia - do not embrace as a sign of affection or love.
Sometimes, hugs are a romantic exchange. Hugs may also be exchanged as a sign of support and comfort. A hug can be a demonstration of affection and emotional warmth, sometimes arising out of joy or happiness at meeting someone.
Brief in most cases, it is used to show many levels of affection. It is not particular to human beings alone, as there are many species of animals that engage in similar exchanges of warmth.
Hugging has been proven to have health benefits. One study has shown that hugs increase levels of oxytocin, and reduce blood pressure.
There are different variations of hugs. Prolonged hugging in a cozy, comfortable position is called cuddling. Spooning is a cuddling position, a kind of hugging when both the hugger and the hugged persons face the same direction, i.e., the front of one person is in contact with the back of the second one. The person whose front is in contact with the other's back is referred to as the "Big Spoon" and the person whose back is in contact with the other's front in referred to as the "Little Spoon".
In May 2009, the New York Times reported that "the hug has become the favorite social greeting when teenagers meet or part these days" in the United States.
Despite hugging being widespread across human culture, several cultures - such as the Himba in Namibia - do not embrace as a sign of affection or love.
2010年5月13日 星期四
Six things not to say on a date!
Do you wonder why the hazel or brown or maybe that blue-eyed girl suddenly left you amidst a conversation which you felt was interesting or why the handsome hunk didn’t call you back after the first date? We tell you things you shouldn’t say on a date.
My dog is my first love!
Even if a guy loves pets, he definitely doesn’t want to be fed pet talk on a date. So completely avoid the topic with him - you'll know soon enough that he doesn't share the same passion. Confessed software engineer Prashant Nag, “My first girlfriend was obsessed with her dog. Whenever we met at her place, I had to bear with all the drooling and cajoling. Fearing she might feel hurt, once I requested her to lock her dog inside a room, to which she freaked out. I walked off and never called her again.”
My job sucks!
It is a big turn off to be around a person who’s forever cribbing. If you are not in a good mood, it’s better to cancel the date instead of spending hours sulking and boring the guy to death. “I had a bad day at work and in the evening I had a date with an interesting guy. My mood was so black that I complained the whole evening. He did look bored but after that evening he never took my calls again,” says call center executive Shikha Tikka.
‘I support the Congress’ Guys and girls, it’s time to know that no one wants to know your political inclinations and that too on a date. Stay away from such subjects. The rule is to keep it light and interesting!
‘My parents are pushing me to get married’
It won't be a great start if on the very first date you start reciting your marital dreams. Admits freelance writer Pushkin, “I met this interesting girl at a pub and we started chatting. Soon after, she told me about her sister’s marriage and how her parents are now finding a boy for her. It was such a put off. I soon found my way out of the place, sans her.”
‘I hate chocolates, they are so fattening’
So, you are careful about what you eat? It maybe good for your health and body, but definitely not a good thing to say on your first date. “Knowing that every girl loves chocolate, I took a bar of Swiss chocolate for her expecting her to jump with joy. But she made a sad face and said: ‘You think a person like me will risk eating chocolates?’ And this was not it; she didn’t let me order anything proper,” says college student Satvik Sharma.
‘Don’t drive so slow!’
Don’t hurt a guy’s feelings by telling him ‘you are too adventurous.’
My dog is my first love!
Even if a guy loves pets, he definitely doesn’t want to be fed pet talk on a date. So completely avoid the topic with him - you'll know soon enough that he doesn't share the same passion. Confessed software engineer Prashant Nag, “My first girlfriend was obsessed with her dog. Whenever we met at her place, I had to bear with all the drooling and cajoling. Fearing she might feel hurt, once I requested her to lock her dog inside a room, to which she freaked out. I walked off and never called her again.”
My job sucks!
It is a big turn off to be around a person who’s forever cribbing. If you are not in a good mood, it’s better to cancel the date instead of spending hours sulking and boring the guy to death. “I had a bad day at work and in the evening I had a date with an interesting guy. My mood was so black that I complained the whole evening. He did look bored but after that evening he never took my calls again,” says call center executive Shikha Tikka.
‘I support the Congress’ Guys and girls, it’s time to know that no one wants to know your political inclinations and that too on a date. Stay away from such subjects. The rule is to keep it light and interesting!
‘My parents are pushing me to get married’
It won't be a great start if on the very first date you start reciting your marital dreams. Admits freelance writer Pushkin, “I met this interesting girl at a pub and we started chatting. Soon after, she told me about her sister’s marriage and how her parents are now finding a boy for her. It was such a put off. I soon found my way out of the place, sans her.”
‘I hate chocolates, they are so fattening’
So, you are careful about what you eat? It maybe good for your health and body, but definitely not a good thing to say on your first date. “Knowing that every girl loves chocolate, I took a bar of Swiss chocolate for her expecting her to jump with joy. But she made a sad face and said: ‘You think a person like me will risk eating chocolates?’ And this was not it; she didn’t let me order anything proper,” says college student Satvik Sharma.
‘Don’t drive so slow!’
Don’t hurt a guy’s feelings by telling him ‘you are too adventurous.’
2010年3月8日 星期一
101 Romantic ideas
1. Remember to say "I love you" and "I need you" often.
2. Walk hand in hand in the rain.
3. Write a love poem.
4. Call a radio station and dedicate a favorite song.
5. Write "I Love You" in lipstick or shaving cream on the mirror.
6. Hide love notes in a lunch box, briefcase or purse.
7. Make heart-shaped cinnamon toast for breakfast.
8. Place a love note in the personals section of the newspaper.
9. Take a carriage ride around the city.
10. Plan a surprise getaway.
11. Do your mate's household chores.
12. Write notes on future dates in their date book ("I love you," I miss you," etc.)
13. Make reservations at a favorite restaurant.
14. Let them choose the movie.
15. Give a foot massage.
16. Make a heart-shaped bookmark, and place it in their book.
17. Pop in a romantic music CD and slow dance.
18. Throw a just-because surprise party for two.
19. Buy a stuffed animal for your honey.
20. Read each other's horoscopes.
21. Make a list of the top 10 things you love about your partner.
22. Display it in a prominent place.
23. Tattoo your mate's name on your body.
24. Make an album or scrapbook of your favorite memories together.
25. Go camping together and only take one sleeping bag.
26. Send a mushy message in a bottle...a balloon...a sandwich...
27. Cut out a silly cartoon that you know they'd enjoy.
28. Shower together.
29. Dim the lights, and snuggle together on the couch.
30. Be the first to say "I'm sorry" and kiss and make up.
31. Give each other a full-body massage.
32. Kiss every hour on the hour all day long.
33. Send a gift basket of indulgent items.
34. Write "I'm hot for you" in the steam on the bathroom mirror.
35. Ribbon wrap your bed with a big bow.
36. Fill up the gas tank of your partner's car.
37. Act like teenagers. Maybe even pierce something!
38. Show up with a bouquet of flowers -- for no reason at all.
39. Play Scrabble® together, using as many "love" words as you can.
40. Run a warm bubble bath for your partner, with lots of lit candles.
41. Meet in the park for a picnic.
42. Hold hands.
43. Leave a trail of rose petals through the house, leading to a romantic candlelight dinner.
44. Make a donation in your mate's name to a special cause or charity.
45. Pick up their clothes from the floor -- without saying a word about it.
46. Watch an old black and white romantic movie and share a bowl of popcorn.
47. Reenact your first date.
48. Surprise your partner with tickets to a special event.
49. An unexpected hug can brighten any day.
50. Buy a silly, impromptu gift.
51. Send an email just to say "I'm thinking of you."
52. Bring home a balloon bouquet.
53. Serve breakfast in bed.
54. Make an ornament with a picture of both of you for the Christmas tree.
55. Play tag.
56. Wash and wax your partner's car, and leave a little note on the dashboard.
57. Plant a garden together.
58. Leave a mushy message on voicemail.
59. Stay at a hotel for the night, just because.
60. Make angels in the snow.
61. Every time you say "hello" or "goodbye", seal it with a hug and a kiss.
62. Take a drive in the country.
63. Spend the evening looking at the stars -- and make a wish together.
64. Cast a playful wink any time, anywhere.
65. Think up a list of silly little pet names for times when you're alone together.
66. Read poetry to each other.
67. Celebrate your half-birthdays together.
68. Put a picture of both of you in your wallet.
69. Buy that favorite book or CD for no reason at all.
70. Send a care package to work filled with treats like food, photos, candy, a love note, heart-shaped confetti, etc.
71. Go out for the evening and tell people you're on your honeymoon.
72. Take a hike together and carve your initials in a tree.
73. Write a thank you note for all the things you take for granted.
74. Make a fire in the fireplace and roast marshmallows.
75. Tape your favorite TV show and spend the evening talking.
76. Do the dishes together, then apply hand lotion to each other's hands.
77. Write a love letter to your partner and cut it into jigsaw puzzle pieces.
78. Decide on secret signals and use them to communicate with each other in large groups of people.
79. Schedule a regular mid-week "date night" for just the two of you.
80. Do the laundry together.
81. Romance Theater Weekend: reenact each other's favorite love scene - hers on Friday, his on Saturday.
82. Call your partner at work and ask for a date.
83. Pretend you haven't seen each other for a month. Act accordingly.
84. Send a written invitation to do something special.
85. Take turns reading to each other.
86. Stand outside the window and sing a romantic song.
87. Hide favorite candy in your partner's coat pockets.
88. Put a tape recording of your voice (saying anything) in the car stereo and turn it on so it plays when the car starts.
89. Go to a drive-in movie.
90. Get up to turn off the last light after you're both comfy-cozy in bed.
91. Hold each other tight during a thunderstorm.
92. Make a tape recording of favorite love songs.
93. Leave a bunch of bananas on the kitchen table with a note, "I go bananas over you!"
94. Hide love notes in a magazine.
95. Declare your undying love via a telegram.
96. Make a romantic dinner together, and serve it on your finest china.
97. Surprise your partner with a big kiss on the neck.
98. Give unexpected compliments.
99. Share an ice cream cone.
100. Have a picnic on the living room floor.
101. Draw a silly picture of the two of you. Frame it.
2. Walk hand in hand in the rain.
3. Write a love poem.
4. Call a radio station and dedicate a favorite song.
5. Write "I Love You" in lipstick or shaving cream on the mirror.
6. Hide love notes in a lunch box, briefcase or purse.
7. Make heart-shaped cinnamon toast for breakfast.
8. Place a love note in the personals section of the newspaper.
9. Take a carriage ride around the city.
10. Plan a surprise getaway.
11. Do your mate's household chores.
12. Write notes on future dates in their date book ("I love you," I miss you," etc.)
13. Make reservations at a favorite restaurant.
14. Let them choose the movie.
15. Give a foot massage.
16. Make a heart-shaped bookmark, and place it in their book.
17. Pop in a romantic music CD and slow dance.
18. Throw a just-because surprise party for two.
19. Buy a stuffed animal for your honey.
20. Read each other's horoscopes.
21. Make a list of the top 10 things you love about your partner.
22. Display it in a prominent place.
23. Tattoo your mate's name on your body.
24. Make an album or scrapbook of your favorite memories together.
25. Go camping together and only take one sleeping bag.
26. Send a mushy message in a bottle...a balloon...a sandwich...
27. Cut out a silly cartoon that you know they'd enjoy.
28. Shower together.
29. Dim the lights, and snuggle together on the couch.
30. Be the first to say "I'm sorry" and kiss and make up.
31. Give each other a full-body massage.
32. Kiss every hour on the hour all day long.
33. Send a gift basket of indulgent items.
34. Write "I'm hot for you" in the steam on the bathroom mirror.
35. Ribbon wrap your bed with a big bow.
36. Fill up the gas tank of your partner's car.
37. Act like teenagers. Maybe even pierce something!
38. Show up with a bouquet of flowers -- for no reason at all.
39. Play Scrabble® together, using as many "love" words as you can.
40. Run a warm bubble bath for your partner, with lots of lit candles.
41. Meet in the park for a picnic.
42. Hold hands.
43. Leave a trail of rose petals through the house, leading to a romantic candlelight dinner.
44. Make a donation in your mate's name to a special cause or charity.
45. Pick up their clothes from the floor -- without saying a word about it.
46. Watch an old black and white romantic movie and share a bowl of popcorn.
47. Reenact your first date.
48. Surprise your partner with tickets to a special event.
49. An unexpected hug can brighten any day.
50. Buy a silly, impromptu gift.
51. Send an email just to say "I'm thinking of you."
52. Bring home a balloon bouquet.
53. Serve breakfast in bed.
54. Make an ornament with a picture of both of you for the Christmas tree.
55. Play tag.
56. Wash and wax your partner's car, and leave a little note on the dashboard.
57. Plant a garden together.
58. Leave a mushy message on voicemail.
59. Stay at a hotel for the night, just because.
60. Make angels in the snow.
61. Every time you say "hello" or "goodbye", seal it with a hug and a kiss.
62. Take a drive in the country.
63. Spend the evening looking at the stars -- and make a wish together.
64. Cast a playful wink any time, anywhere.
65. Think up a list of silly little pet names for times when you're alone together.
66. Read poetry to each other.
67. Celebrate your half-birthdays together.
68. Put a picture of both of you in your wallet.
69. Buy that favorite book or CD for no reason at all.
70. Send a care package to work filled with treats like food, photos, candy, a love note, heart-shaped confetti, etc.
71. Go out for the evening and tell people you're on your honeymoon.
72. Take a hike together and carve your initials in a tree.
73. Write a thank you note for all the things you take for granted.
74. Make a fire in the fireplace and roast marshmallows.
75. Tape your favorite TV show and spend the evening talking.
76. Do the dishes together, then apply hand lotion to each other's hands.
77. Write a love letter to your partner and cut it into jigsaw puzzle pieces.
78. Decide on secret signals and use them to communicate with each other in large groups of people.
79. Schedule a regular mid-week "date night" for just the two of you.
80. Do the laundry together.
81. Romance Theater Weekend: reenact each other's favorite love scene - hers on Friday, his on Saturday.
82. Call your partner at work and ask for a date.
83. Pretend you haven't seen each other for a month. Act accordingly.
84. Send a written invitation to do something special.
85. Take turns reading to each other.
86. Stand outside the window and sing a romantic song.
87. Hide favorite candy in your partner's coat pockets.
88. Put a tape recording of your voice (saying anything) in the car stereo and turn it on so it plays when the car starts.
89. Go to a drive-in movie.
90. Get up to turn off the last light after you're both comfy-cozy in bed.
91. Hold each other tight during a thunderstorm.
92. Make a tape recording of favorite love songs.
93. Leave a bunch of bananas on the kitchen table with a note, "I go bananas over you!"
94. Hide love notes in a magazine.
95. Declare your undying love via a telegram.
96. Make a romantic dinner together, and serve it on your finest china.
97. Surprise your partner with a big kiss on the neck.
98. Give unexpected compliments.
99. Share an ice cream cone.
100. Have a picnic on the living room floor.
101. Draw a silly picture of the two of you. Frame it.
2010年2月28日 星期日
Keep Your Husband Happy
Female Intuition
It comes natural to most females to have that mother instinct, that certain feeling that when something is wrong with your children you know it. Well you must use this same instinct with your mate.
You can read his body language, listen to his words and read between the lines when needed. Look into his eyes, watch his facial expressions. Just make sure you always notice if his habits are changing. Keep in tune with his needs and wants.
Be aware if he is not talking as much? Is he coming home later than usual? Is he drinking or smoking more? Is he avoiding answering his cell phone when he sees your number?
Well maybe it's time to put a little fire back into the romance and keep it there, to keep your husband Happy, before someone eles does.
Do What Comes Natural
1- Give him a good morning kiss or hug when he wakes up.
If you wake up beside him in the bed, snuggle next to him and put your head on his chest, and put his arm around you. He'll love that feeling of protecting you with his strong arm holding you close.
2- Listen to his same old stories and jokes again and again.
Sure you've heard them a million times, and sometimes you roll your eyes to the top of your head or mimic every word waiting for the end of an outcome you know too well. But just think back to when you first started dating or just got married and he told these funny or interesting little anecdotes.
Think about your smiles and your laughter you gave him then, come on you remember, come on, now bring those feelings to the present moment when he's on stage again. Enjoy the moment, and be the positive audience he wants and needs you to be. This will keep your husband happy.
3- Give him a shoulder massage when he comes home from work.
If you are there when he arrives, take his brief case or bag and set it down. Immediately start massaging his shoulders while he is standing. Lead him over to a chair and sit him down, while you continue to relax him. You don't have to be an expert masseuse.
This will help to ease the tension of a hard days work. As you are massaging him ask him how was his day. And really listen as he tells you. If you feel your massaging skills are a little rusty, no problem, just Google "massage techniques" for some ideas.
4- Buy him 2 tickets to his favorite Sports game.
What's his favorite sport? Every man seems to be interested in one sport or another. Does he like golf, baseball, basketball, football, hockey, soccor, rugby, drag racing... Whatever sport turns him on, treat him and his best buddy to tickets to an upcoming event. His buddy can be you or one of your children, or grand-dad or whomever he chooses.
If buying 2 tickets to his favorite sport is not in the budget, never fear, here is what you can do. Order a sports event on cable. This will be less expensive than the actual tickets, and your cable company will bill you later on your momthly bill.
No cable. No problem. Schedule some alone time for him to watch his favotite event on TV. Have some beer in the fridge or whatever his drink is. Have his favorite snacks on the table, and his favorite dinner ready for him, on a plate in the fridge as well. Tell him about the food, so he can pop it in the oven during half time.
Leave the house, take the kids and any other relatives and pets. Monitor the game from your car radio so you will know when to arrive back home. Go shopping, visiting, to a park, etc., enjoy your time away as well.
Give him at least 45 mins to an hour after the game is over before you return. This will give him time to savor the good feelings he has about enjoying his favorite sport. Plus it will give him a little time to himself, and a chance to start missing you as well. Doing this for him once in a while will definetly keep your husband happy.
Sweets For Your Sweets
5- Put his favorite candy on his pillow.
Once you or him have made the bed (just like they do at the hotels).leave him a treat. If you don't know what his favorite candy is that's ok for now. But he is your husband and this is something you must find out and add to your memory bank. Just notice what gum he always chews or what mint he likes and put one or two of these on or under his pillow now and then.
6- Bake him a birthday cake.
Hey, it's his birthday. Don't order a cake from the bakery. Simply find an easy cake recipe on Google, and bake the cake yourself. If you feel you don't have the time to do this or just dont want do. It's still easy. Go to any grocery store: Buy 1 box of Betty Crocker, Pillsbury or other cake mix. Follow the easy baking instructions on the package, Add icing to the finished cake and put your special message on the icing using a different color icing or a tube of icing (which is easy to write with).The tube of icing is easily found in the cake mix isle at almost any grocery store. He'll love that you took the time out to bake it yourself.
7- Help him watch his diet. Don't have too many sweets and fattening foods around the house. Always fix his favorite foods using low salt, low fat, low cholesteral, low calorie and low sugar whenever possible. Become an expert nutritionist for yourself, your husband and your other family members and friends.
Dont Take His Feelings For Granted
8- Don't ever disrespect him in front of his friends.
This is a definite NO NO. No matter what the disagreement or situation, wait until you both get alone to iron out the problem. This cannot be stressed enough. A man's male ego is a super powerful source of strength. If you knock his ego down in front of his friends or relatives. You may crush him so bad that it will be very hard for him to forgive you. He may want to forget about the incident but his friends may remind him, or just being around them can be a constant reminder of how you dissed him in their eyesight.
9- Don't bring the car back with the gas tank on almost empty.
If you use his car or the two of you share the car don't always let him be the one to fill up the gas tank. When possible get a fill up once in a while. If your money will not allow a fill up, at the very least put back the gas in the tank on the same gallon mark it was on when you started your errands .example: 1/4 tank, 1/2 tank, 3/4 tank etc.. You may not be able to do this everytime, but when you do he will appreciate it very much.
10- Don't talk while he's watching his favorite TV show.
If he initiates the conversation, be breif with your comments or answers to his questions. Don't add conversation about the kids and school problems, leaky faucet troubles, bill problems, etc. Treat his TV time just like you would if you were at the movie theatre, and quietly respect the relaxing and enjoyable atmosphere.
LOVE Is In The Air
11-Tell him you Love him.
It doesn't hurt to hear the words once in a while. When was the last time you told him? Just don't think that he is suppose to know you love him since you're still with him after all these years. Actually say the words "I Love You" to him daily or a few times a week. Watch the difference it makes in his love expressions to you.
12- Let Him Be The Man He Was Meant To Be.
Let him take care of you physically, financially, and gallantly. This will keep your husband happy. Chivalry is alive and well.
It comes natural to most females to have that mother instinct, that certain feeling that when something is wrong with your children you know it. Well you must use this same instinct with your mate.
You can read his body language, listen to his words and read between the lines when needed. Look into his eyes, watch his facial expressions. Just make sure you always notice if his habits are changing. Keep in tune with his needs and wants.
Be aware if he is not talking as much? Is he coming home later than usual? Is he drinking or smoking more? Is he avoiding answering his cell phone when he sees your number?
Well maybe it's time to put a little fire back into the romance and keep it there, to keep your husband Happy, before someone eles does.
Do What Comes Natural
1- Give him a good morning kiss or hug when he wakes up.
If you wake up beside him in the bed, snuggle next to him and put your head on his chest, and put his arm around you. He'll love that feeling of protecting you with his strong arm holding you close.
2- Listen to his same old stories and jokes again and again.
Sure you've heard them a million times, and sometimes you roll your eyes to the top of your head or mimic every word waiting for the end of an outcome you know too well. But just think back to when you first started dating or just got married and he told these funny or interesting little anecdotes.
Think about your smiles and your laughter you gave him then, come on you remember, come on, now bring those feelings to the present moment when he's on stage again. Enjoy the moment, and be the positive audience he wants and needs you to be. This will keep your husband happy.
3- Give him a shoulder massage when he comes home from work.
If you are there when he arrives, take his brief case or bag and set it down. Immediately start massaging his shoulders while he is standing. Lead him over to a chair and sit him down, while you continue to relax him. You don't have to be an expert masseuse.
This will help to ease the tension of a hard days work. As you are massaging him ask him how was his day. And really listen as he tells you. If you feel your massaging skills are a little rusty, no problem, just Google "massage techniques" for some ideas.
4- Buy him 2 tickets to his favorite Sports game.
What's his favorite sport? Every man seems to be interested in one sport or another. Does he like golf, baseball, basketball, football, hockey, soccor, rugby, drag racing... Whatever sport turns him on, treat him and his best buddy to tickets to an upcoming event. His buddy can be you or one of your children, or grand-dad or whomever he chooses.
If buying 2 tickets to his favorite sport is not in the budget, never fear, here is what you can do. Order a sports event on cable. This will be less expensive than the actual tickets, and your cable company will bill you later on your momthly bill.
No cable. No problem. Schedule some alone time for him to watch his favotite event on TV. Have some beer in the fridge or whatever his drink is. Have his favorite snacks on the table, and his favorite dinner ready for him, on a plate in the fridge as well. Tell him about the food, so he can pop it in the oven during half time.
Leave the house, take the kids and any other relatives and pets. Monitor the game from your car radio so you will know when to arrive back home. Go shopping, visiting, to a park, etc., enjoy your time away as well.
Give him at least 45 mins to an hour after the game is over before you return. This will give him time to savor the good feelings he has about enjoying his favorite sport. Plus it will give him a little time to himself, and a chance to start missing you as well. Doing this for him once in a while will definetly keep your husband happy.
Sweets For Your Sweets
5- Put his favorite candy on his pillow.
Once you or him have made the bed (just like they do at the hotels).leave him a treat. If you don't know what his favorite candy is that's ok for now. But he is your husband and this is something you must find out and add to your memory bank. Just notice what gum he always chews or what mint he likes and put one or two of these on or under his pillow now and then.
6- Bake him a birthday cake.
Hey, it's his birthday. Don't order a cake from the bakery. Simply find an easy cake recipe on Google, and bake the cake yourself. If you feel you don't have the time to do this or just dont want do. It's still easy. Go to any grocery store: Buy 1 box of Betty Crocker, Pillsbury or other cake mix. Follow the easy baking instructions on the package, Add icing to the finished cake and put your special message on the icing using a different color icing or a tube of icing (which is easy to write with).The tube of icing is easily found in the cake mix isle at almost any grocery store. He'll love that you took the time out to bake it yourself.
7- Help him watch his diet. Don't have too many sweets and fattening foods around the house. Always fix his favorite foods using low salt, low fat, low cholesteral, low calorie and low sugar whenever possible. Become an expert nutritionist for yourself, your husband and your other family members and friends.
Dont Take His Feelings For Granted
8- Don't ever disrespect him in front of his friends.
This is a definite NO NO. No matter what the disagreement or situation, wait until you both get alone to iron out the problem. This cannot be stressed enough. A man's male ego is a super powerful source of strength. If you knock his ego down in front of his friends or relatives. You may crush him so bad that it will be very hard for him to forgive you. He may want to forget about the incident but his friends may remind him, or just being around them can be a constant reminder of how you dissed him in their eyesight.
9- Don't bring the car back with the gas tank on almost empty.
If you use his car or the two of you share the car don't always let him be the one to fill up the gas tank. When possible get a fill up once in a while. If your money will not allow a fill up, at the very least put back the gas in the tank on the same gallon mark it was on when you started your errands .example: 1/4 tank, 1/2 tank, 3/4 tank etc.. You may not be able to do this everytime, but when you do he will appreciate it very much.
10- Don't talk while he's watching his favorite TV show.
If he initiates the conversation, be breif with your comments or answers to his questions. Don't add conversation about the kids and school problems, leaky faucet troubles, bill problems, etc. Treat his TV time just like you would if you were at the movie theatre, and quietly respect the relaxing and enjoyable atmosphere.
LOVE Is In The Air
11-Tell him you Love him.
It doesn't hurt to hear the words once in a while. When was the last time you told him? Just don't think that he is suppose to know you love him since you're still with him after all these years. Actually say the words "I Love You" to him daily or a few times a week. Watch the difference it makes in his love expressions to you.
12- Let Him Be The Man He Was Meant To Be.
Let him take care of you physically, financially, and gallantly. This will keep your husband happy. Chivalry is alive and well.
2010年2月26日 星期五
Touch for Rapture Rather Than Effect
Once I had a client-couple, Arthur and Ellie (not their real names). Arthur loved making out with her, and she loved his enthusiasm and attention. He loved the way she felt—there was something about her smooth and creamy skin, and the way she responded with such delight to his loving and passionate touch. Yet (and she felt guilty just thinking about it, because she knew he was trying so hard) Ellie often found it hard to fully surrender to his touch. Sometimes she felt almost as if she were resisting it! This made no sense to her—he was so enthusiastic and passionate!
Arthur (being the sensitive soul that he is) noticed this (eventually) and thought, “I should focus even more on making sure this feels really good to Ellie. I want her to fall in love with the way I make love with her.” So he’d try even harder to get the good effects. And while Ellie appreciated his intention, the more he turned up his efforts, the less what he did felt good to her.
Every woman wants as much love, care, and attention, just like Art was giving to Ellie! Why wasn’t their strategy working? Should I have told Arthur to try less to please her?
Arthur was following a common strategy: he was trying to make it feel good to her. Well—doesn’t that make sense? I call this strategy “touching for effect.” You are touching for effect when your goal is to make the other person feel pleasure.
Touching for effect puts your attention on you (“How am I doing?”) rather than on your partner—and your partner can feel this. Pleasure occurs in the present moment, not in the future. Great pleasure comes from playfulness and exploration, not from trying to make something wonderful happen.
Here’s what happens with the touch-for-effect strategy:
•Your partner can feel that you are not engaging with them in the present moment. They can feel that your attention is on your performance—not really on their pleasure.
•Because your attention is on how well you’re performing, it isn’t on your pleasure either—so you actually feel less than you could. The less you can feel, the less you are aware of (and can respond to) what your partner is feeling. If you think they can’t tell this is happening, ask them
Why We Flirt: The Science of Sex
It’s so natural, we barely even notice we do it. Tilting a head to expose the neck, smiling or laughing at something that really wasn’t funny, moving closer to the person making unfunny jokes, mimicking their actions. Our body language is perhaps the most subtle expression of what we’re really thinking and feeling, and is a crucial component of the courting dance known as flirting.
Though cheesy pick-up lines abound, a lot is conveyed even before words are uttered. A prolonged gaze or arched eyebrow gives clues to the person across the bar that you’re interested without having to explicitly ask about his/her sign. Though the statistics differ, some attribute almost 80 percent of our first impressions to our stance and swagger. And because flirting helps both animals and humans find mates faster and easier, it is an evolutionary trait hard-wired in our brains. Mice twitch their noses at potential mates, colorful peacocks strut around for admiring peahens, and pigeons puff their chests to look buff. As much as we have moved on from mice and feathers, we do much of the same, for the exact same reasons.
Genetic Peacockery
Because flirting is an easy way for us to display our genes, mating potential, and interest, nature put a lot toward its success. This is one of the reasons why some males birds have exotic plumes, why elk carry hefty antlers (a sign of a healthy immune system), and why male fiddler crabs have such large claws. He waves his in the air, alerting females to his whereabouts, and signaling them to come closer for a better look at his burrow, colorful shell, and flashy claw.
Much in the same way, we’re physically programmed to indicate interest almost before we mentally have a say in it. Slight actions reveal a lot. Stance, eye movement, and gestures like leaning forward to talk to the person, or quick eyebrow raises are what scientists call contact engagement, signaling to the other mammal that you’re prepared for things to potentially get physical. Perhaps most importantly, these signals show that you’re not intending to dominate or flee. Or not just yet, anyhow.
Though cheesy pick-up lines abound, a lot is conveyed even before words are uttered. A prolonged gaze or arched eyebrow gives clues to the person across the bar that you’re interested without having to explicitly ask about his/her sign. Though the statistics differ, some attribute almost 80 percent of our first impressions to our stance and swagger. And because flirting helps both animals and humans find mates faster and easier, it is an evolutionary trait hard-wired in our brains. Mice twitch their noses at potential mates, colorful peacocks strut around for admiring peahens, and pigeons puff their chests to look buff. As much as we have moved on from mice and feathers, we do much of the same, for the exact same reasons.
Genetic Peacockery
Because flirting is an easy way for us to display our genes, mating potential, and interest, nature put a lot toward its success. This is one of the reasons why some males birds have exotic plumes, why elk carry hefty antlers (a sign of a healthy immune system), and why male fiddler crabs have such large claws. He waves his in the air, alerting females to his whereabouts, and signaling them to come closer for a better look at his burrow, colorful shell, and flashy claw.
Much in the same way, we’re physically programmed to indicate interest almost before we mentally have a say in it. Slight actions reveal a lot. Stance, eye movement, and gestures like leaning forward to talk to the person, or quick eyebrow raises are what scientists call contact engagement, signaling to the other mammal that you’re prepared for things to potentially get physical. Perhaps most importantly, these signals show that you’re not intending to dominate or flee. Or not just yet, anyhow.
2010年2月9日 星期二
tips for boys to love some girl
The following are the tips for boys to love some girl:
Make a cassette tape of your and her favorite love songs, then record (in your voice) a special, romantic message at the end!
Write her a Love poem.
Leave little notes around telling her things you love about her.
Let her rest her head in your lap.
If she's feeling stressed out, give her a massage and help her work out a better way to do things.
Surprise him with a candle-lit dinner.
Let her wear your clothes. It's almost guaranteed she'll look better in one of your button down shirts than you do. (Kind of sexy too!)
If she makes dinner, offer to do the dishes.
Always be a gentleman--hold the door for her.
Give her the same respect you enjoy from her.
Make an effort to get to know (and if you can, love) her family.
Make a cassette tape of your and her favorite love songs, then record (in your voice) a special, romantic message at the end!
Write her a Love poem.
Leave little notes around telling her things you love about her.
Let her rest her head in your lap.
If she's feeling stressed out, give her a massage and help her work out a better way to do things.
Surprise him with a candle-lit dinner.
Let her wear your clothes. It's almost guaranteed she'll look better in one of your button down shirts than you do. (Kind of sexy too!)
If she makes dinner, offer to do the dishes.
Always be a gentleman--hold the door for her.
Give her the same respect you enjoy from her.
Make an effort to get to know (and if you can, love) her family.
2010年1月31日 星期日
Please Hear What I'm Not Saying
Please Hear What I'm Not Saying
Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear for I wear a mask,
a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
my only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this.
I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.
I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings--
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!
With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator--
of the person that is me if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.
Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.
Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.
Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear for I wear a mask,
a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
my only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this.
I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.
I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings--
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!
With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator--
of the person that is me if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.
Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.
Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.
2010年1月3日 星期日
What do Men Want to Hear
Unlike what we might be brought up to believe, men have emotional needs too and there are certain phrases that most men would love to hear to feel appreciated. Unfortunately for fear of sounding silly, for pride or timidity we don’t tell our men often enough how much we appreciate them. Can you remember when was the last time you sincerely thanked your man for something he did for you? Or can you honestly say when was the last time you gave a compliment to your boyfriend or husband? Once in a long term relationship, most women have a tendency to take their men for granted.
With this in mind I have collected a few phrases that I think men would like to hear from their women. Come on, join in and tell us which are the phrases that you would like to hear the most from your woman. And you girls tell us which are in your opinion the most romantic, complimentary or sexy thing you’ve ever told your man.
Phrases for the romantic:
1.“I like you”. To whisper these little 3 words with a languid accent has an incomparable power over a man’s ego. We will hug you and be proud of having you by his side.
2.“I trust you, I know you can do it”. This is a really magic phrase it proves the confidence you have in him, in his physical and mental strength. Men love this one as it makes them feel almighty powerful. Also you can use this phrase when you want your man to do something for you. For example if you want him to change the wallpaper in your room or take care of your cat while you go on vacation, all you need do is to whisper this phrase and he will be proud to do whatever you are asking him to do.
Phrases for the romantic:
1.“I like you”. To whisper these little 3 words with a languid accent has an incomparable power over a man’s ego. We will hug you and be proud of having you by his side.
2.“I trust you, I know you can do it”. This is a really magic phrase it proves the confidence you have in him, in his physical and mental strength. Men love this one as it makes them feel almighty powerful. Also you can use this phrase when you want your man to do something for you. For example if you want him to change the wallpaper in your room or take care of your cat while you go on vacation, all you need do is to whisper this phrase and he will be proud to do whatever you are asking him to do.
Phrases for the romantic:
1.“I like you”. To whisper these little 3 words with a languid accent has an incomparable power over a man’s ego. We will hug you and be proud of having you by his side.
2.“I trust you, I know you can do it”. This is a really magic phrase it proves the confidence you have in him, in his physical and mental strength. Men love this one as it makes them feel almighty powerful. Also you can use this phrase when you want your man to do something for you. For example if you want him to change the wallpaper in your room or take care of your cat while you go on vacation, all you need do is to whisper this phrase and he will be proud to do whatever you are asking him to do.
3."You're the best". I don’t think this one needs explaining.
4." I am so lucky I met you" For him this means “you are marvellous, absolutely great and more important you make love like a God !”
5.“What would I do without you” this is another ego booster. This is the perfect phrase for those situations when you are in trouble and he saves you. Like for example the day your car breaks down and he drives you to your workplace, or the afternoon when your nanny is sick and he offers to look after the children while you go out shopping with your girlfriends.
6."We are a team, baby!", this is perfect to let him know that you support him, that you are a couple and his aspirations are important for you.
With this in mind I have collected a few phrases that I think men would like to hear from their women. Come on, join in and tell us which are the phrases that you would like to hear the most from your woman. And you girls tell us which are in your opinion the most romantic, complimentary or sexy thing you’ve ever told your man.
Phrases for the romantic:
1.“I like you”. To whisper these little 3 words with a languid accent has an incomparable power over a man’s ego. We will hug you and be proud of having you by his side.
2.“I trust you, I know you can do it”. This is a really magic phrase it proves the confidence you have in him, in his physical and mental strength. Men love this one as it makes them feel almighty powerful. Also you can use this phrase when you want your man to do something for you. For example if you want him to change the wallpaper in your room or take care of your cat while you go on vacation, all you need do is to whisper this phrase and he will be proud to do whatever you are asking him to do.
Phrases for the romantic:
1.“I like you”. To whisper these little 3 words with a languid accent has an incomparable power over a man’s ego. We will hug you and be proud of having you by his side.
2.“I trust you, I know you can do it”. This is a really magic phrase it proves the confidence you have in him, in his physical and mental strength. Men love this one as it makes them feel almighty powerful. Also you can use this phrase when you want your man to do something for you. For example if you want him to change the wallpaper in your room or take care of your cat while you go on vacation, all you need do is to whisper this phrase and he will be proud to do whatever you are asking him to do.
Phrases for the romantic:
1.“I like you”. To whisper these little 3 words with a languid accent has an incomparable power over a man’s ego. We will hug you and be proud of having you by his side.
2.“I trust you, I know you can do it”. This is a really magic phrase it proves the confidence you have in him, in his physical and mental strength. Men love this one as it makes them feel almighty powerful. Also you can use this phrase when you want your man to do something for you. For example if you want him to change the wallpaper in your room or take care of your cat while you go on vacation, all you need do is to whisper this phrase and he will be proud to do whatever you are asking him to do.
3."You're the best". I don’t think this one needs explaining.
4." I am so lucky I met you" For him this means “you are marvellous, absolutely great and more important you make love like a God !”
5.“What would I do without you” this is another ego booster. This is the perfect phrase for those situations when you are in trouble and he saves you. Like for example the day your car breaks down and he drives you to your workplace, or the afternoon when your nanny is sick and he offers to look after the children while you go out shopping with your girlfriends.
6."We are a team, baby!", this is perfect to let him know that you support him, that you are a couple and his aspirations are important for you.
訂閱：
文章 (Atom)